Nyctophilia

Do you know what is nyctophilia? Love of darkness or night. Finding relaxation or comfort in the darkness. Yeah i really love the sound of night, it makes me feel comfortable. I love being alone actually, that’s why i dont have many friends. I found myself at night, who I really am. I’ve changed since i met him, he ruined my life even though he didnt mean to do that. I’m really tired of his promises, he always break them. All i want is dont make a promise if  you cannot do that. Just dont. To everyone out there if you read this, remember that. You dont know if it means a lot for someone. I dont know who is right and who is wrong, all i know is I still loving him. That’s crazy i know that. He never there when i needed him. He said he wont leave me but the truth? He left and then one day he appears in my life again like nothing happened like im okay. Im not fine at all. When i almost forget you, you come back again. If you want to leave, just leave. Dont you dare to come to  my life again. It really hurts and you will never know that feeling. Never in a million years.

 It’s almost 3 am and I still up. Waiting for him even i know he wouldnt stay here. I know how stupid i am. I have loved a wrong guy. I know he is not the only one guy in this world but he means a lot to me. He means everything. Maybe i just need more time to forget everything about him. To start my life from the beginning again. I think that’s it, i have to go sleep now. I have work tomorrow,wait today. I apologize if i did a mistake with my english, im still learing tho. Ily.